Voilá!

Voilá! Look who's back. 

As you can see, I've taken a little over a year off from blogging. This past year has been a tremendous one. I faced many new challenges and accomplishments. If anyone is reading this who has read any of my previous blogs, then I would assume that you all are a little familiar of the struggles that I've experienced. I had faced an incident that left a very painful scar upon me. But I've acquired so much more and learned so much more about myself in the past two years, that I am astounded. So, consider this the beginning of an almost new blog with a new Jess. It's time to get back into the world. To plug myself in once again. And to strive to live with full understanding of the possible outcomes and consequences of my many actions whether they be good or bad. My friends, welcome to the new world of me. 

"I was looking for a breathe of life, 
 For a touch of heavenly light,
 but all the choirs in my head screamed...
 No!

 To dream of life again,
 A little vision of the start at the end...
 Who's side am I on? 
 And my heart is a hollow plane,
 For the Devil to dance again..." 
-Florence and the Machine

These past years I've faced many challenging questions; what is the point of life? What exactly is it that I believe? Who do I believe and would I trust that belief enough to sacrifice my entire life to the pursuit of it? Well, I am still working on those abstract questions. However, I believe it's fair to state that those answers will not be absolute, but subjective to my various experiences and ever-changing circumstances. 

I will state this though, I believe that all tiresome questions are product of circumstance and personal experience. But to whom do you ask these questions? God? The Devil? Stars? Yourself? Family or friends? In the end, it will be completely up to the inquirer what qualifies as solution(s). Because you see, we are influenced by much but we also have both personal indifference and partiality towards outward influences and sometimes even inward influences. Meaning, all our answers to these difficult questions will forever be subjective and as much as we try to keep our answers clean-cut and objective, we won't be able to. Simply because we are too personally biased by both inner and outer forces that we are kept from having direct, clean-cut, and objective answers to such abstract questions. 

Moreover, abstract questions will only support abstract answers. You cannot take an abstract picture or a picture that is meant to be abstract and call it clear, unless of course you are making a statement that the abstract picture is clearly abstract. However,  the purpose will be defeated and you will only proceed to confuse yourself. 

So, my friends, be ready to think, to read, to follow, and to be as confused as I. I hope you enjoy this new version of, "That Natural Beauty"

                                            Much Love, Jess

"Starry Night"

Hey Guys,


"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."

- Vincent Van Gogh

"When I have a terrible need for--shall I say the word--religion. Then I go outside and paint the stars."  -Vincent Van Gogh

  Vincent Van Gogh: a common household name, an artistic genius, a bit nutty, with the perfect amount of insane logic. He is my all time favorite artist. A man of much imagination and determination. He craved love but did not know how to receive or give it. So misunderstood, but such an intriguing mind. Everything a tormented artist was supposed to be. 

   His "Starry Night" inspired me at a very young age to pick up the very delicate and unique art of painting. I have painted many pieces in my short time, beautiful in their own way, as art usually is. However, they are obviously not extremely well put together pieces, but there is no shame in admitting the need for constant practice. To develop a sense of over-driven determination to reach some level of greatness. Every human being wishes to attain greatness in one way or another and if you deny this, then I will know you certainly aren't being completely truthful. 

   I've said this before and I will say it again. Life is your canvas, you are painting your very own masterpiece, even if no one else recognizes it as a masterpiece, it is. There are so many stars out there in space. If one would just take the time to breathe in the majesty and the mesmerizing mysteries of our world we'd learn a new feeling of humility and humanity. Life is so precious, it is so amazing, and it can be so wonderful if we allow ourselves time to remember just how spectacular and miraculous all of God's creations truly are. Falling in love, maybe with another person, but more-so with life is essential to joy. To just be so grateful to be able to watch the stars for hours. To feel the breeze kiss your face and to just close your eyes and rest. To paint a picture of beauty and grace for the sake of loving remembrance. Remembering all the while who you were, who you are, and who you can become with the right ingredients. But, most importantly remembering that there really is something so much greater than you. He is the one who set up and polished all the stars. 

  The night is so whimsical. So quiet and cool. The stars are breathtaking. We are so small, but so loved. Life is too beautiful to waste. Watch the stars and feel the gentle breeze and know, you are not alone. Let yourself love, let yourself paint, and more importantly let yourself remember everything. 

-Jess

Ice Cream!! :)

Hey guys!

    "Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone."
                                                                                                                    -Jim Fiebig
  
   When I was really young, my grandmother bought me my favorite flavor ice cream at my favorite ice cream parlor. (Yes, an actual old fashioned ice cream parlor) I was so sad. I remember as the steamy tears welled up and started to spill over my heartbroken eyes, a very nice parlor lady gave me a brand new ice cream cone with an extra scoop at no charge. I was so happy I literally could have died. :)


   Sometimes your ice cream scoop is going to fall on the ground, and even you, will want to cry. There is no shame in crying, especially in extreme disappointment. Sometimes a nice parlor lady will give you a new scoop of ice cream. Sometimes you won't receive a new scoop of ice cream. But never be ashamed to cry. Disappointment never is forever, it's only a small hill on your path of life. Next time your ice cream scoop falls off your cone try to look on the bright side. If you're this disappointed now, imagine how happy you will be when you finally walk through this disappointment. 

     -Jess

Welcome Back!

Hey guys,

     Sorry it's taken so long for me to blog again. Been busy. Anyways...

"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them." -Marcus Aurelius

   Marcus Aurelius was a Roman emperor, philosopher, and is the last of the "Five Good Emperors".

   He was right in saying that we should dwell on the beauty of life. If we allow ourselves to become entirely caught up in the ugliest parts of our lives, we will lose track of the beautiful ones. Sometimes it becomes too easy to dwell on the small but extremely painful parts of our short lives. It's easy to become depressed or angry or full on sorrowful. We find ourselves mourning our pasts, regretting our presents, and fearing our futures. This is a horrible condition!

    You see, if we allow failure to rule over our lives, we come to expect failure from ourselves for the rest of our lives. And that, that is torture. Pure, unadulterated, self-inflicted torture. I guarantee you, those who you might have wronged or hurt or who seem to hate you, they aren't meditating on your trespasses everyday of their lives. They are living their lives, so I suppose that means it's time for you to live yours.
 
    I understand how difficult it has become for some people to focus on the beautiful and joyful parts of our lives, but we are only human. I mean, do any of you truly expect to be perfect or do you expect others to be perfect? If you expect any of these things, you will be disappointed and I'm not sorry you will be. It's time for us to shape up and seize the day. To remember the bad parts of our lives only enough to caution us in the future. But for now, ay this very moment, wake up! Smell the coffee and the fresh air, and be glad you have a new day to try to turn things around. So many opportunities knock on our door everyday, we just need to let them in. So let them in. And, don't be afraid, things always work out some way or another.

                                                                                                                -Jess

Peace

Hey Everyone!

"And no one dared
 Disturb the sound of silence." -Simon & Garfunkel, Sounds of Silence

   When peace finally befalls on ears that have only known stubborn silence, it startles the listener. There is a difference between peace and silence. When one finally determines the subtle difference between silence and peace, the result is mesmerizing.

    Bubbling creeks, whispering winds, and singing birds bring me peace. Silence between friends is not peace. Silence is loud. Peace is subdued. The things that bring peace to peoples' lives vary from one person to another. There is much to be learned from peace. It teaches wisdom by providing a calm time to think.  It  gives rest to the weary. It brings life in times where it seems death has finally won.

     We are a people trapped in a loudly silent world. A world where turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to serious issues has become the only way to resolve any problem. To pretend it does not exist. That will not bring anyone peace. It won't resolve our issues. It simply gives our issues room to grow, evolve, and reappear in a new form. Why do we do that to ourselves? When did it become acceptable to live in a silent world?

     We are obligated to find peace and to find peace we must deal with the very real issues that surround us.  We must learn to appreciate the simplicity of life. The simplicities of birds singing, wind whispering, and creeks bubbling. We must embrace and appreciate the natural beauties that were given to us for peace. There is no question, our world is harsh, cruel, and silent, but we don't have to succumb to it. We can fight that silence, that cruelty, and that harshness. We can find peace. We can stop the silence.

The End

Hey Guys!

 No, this is not the end of That Natural Beauty. Just the name of the article.

 I'm going to get right to the point. Recently in the past few months there has been a monstrous falling out between me and people who I used to be friends with. Expecting us to be capable of mending the brokenness in between us was my hope. Sadly, in some circumstances, such as these, it couldn't be done. Where the pains and division cut far too deep and the wounds just couldn't heal, while the other party refused to try to remedy the situation in an appropriate manner. So it became my realization that it was time for me to let it go. And by that I mean, letting them go. Sometimes, we lose those we had hoped to keep. It happens and it is a very painful process for all parties involved. But, you know what, there is always hope that maybe some time far in the future that friendship will be redeemed.

   This brings me to my first point, friendship is that state of cordiality that allows groups of people to have fellowship and bonding. Friendship is founded on trust, loyalty, and love. With all these things comes respect. Sadly, it is easy to break that friendship by destroying one or all these attributes to the friendship. As we have all done at least once. By breaking these foundations we break the friendship and it then becomes the other parties' choice to either redeem the friendship or not.

    Second point, friendship is a blessing. As such, it must not be taken for granted. I easily took that particular friendship for granted and for that I lost it. For that I am sorry. Try to not make the same mistakes as I. Everything catches up to you in the end. Whether you care or not, it will find you, whatever it is.

    Third point, when you badly hurt someone emotionally it leaves a scar, just as if you had badly hurt someone physically. That scar will follow them and you until the day death comes for both. It is another price one must pay for what they destroyed.  I do apologize for damaging those people emotionally. It was wrong.

    Fourth point, it takes all parties to completely obliterate a friendship. As bad as one member of a particular friendship erred, it was the other party that refused to forgive them. For this, they lost that friendship. It is not easy to forgive, it never is, it never will be, but it must be. It might take many years, but the longer you allow yourself to become bitter the harder it's going to become to enjoy life fully and to love other people completely. No matter how old you are, no matter how much you know, you know nothing if you can't forgive and love despite your humanity.

"To err is human; to forgive is divine." -Alexander Pope

   I know the beauty of this situation. It was difficult to find but it was found.  The freedom to see someone as they are and to see yourself as you are require extremely high payment. To know and understand the difference between what a person openly displays about themselves and what they try to hide brings much sorrow at first, but joy in the latter. Through these many painful and erratic experiences I've come to know myself better, even the darker side of me. I've seen what type of a monster I can become. It frightened me at first, but then it challenged me to become a better person. Or at least try to be. I can't give up my own fight. I won't surrender to that part of myself, instead I've openly chosen to better myself beyond myself. To embrace that which can't always be understood; grace, love, forgiveness,  & God. To withdrawal myself from that I thought I could handle; anger, sadness, depression, and fear. I won't die a monster but as much of a hero as I can muster up within myself. What I've seen and what others have seen in me is inexcusable, not unforgivable. But now they have nothing on me. Because self-recognition is both the hardest and safest part of being human. It shows you what you need to fix within yourself before you are able to fix others.

    At self-recognition I do not lack, my own flaws do not go unnoticed by me. However, I can't help but wonder if the other recognizes their flaws because it became so easy for them to pinpoint my flaws but theirs' seemed to go unnoticed. This is why that friendship failed. We all erred, few could forgive, but in the end it won't matter who did and said what, because Divine intervention always happens.

    And everyone's fate is the same. But I choose to walk forward and not backward because we aren't meant to walk backwards, are we? No. So why waste precious time doing it? I won't, what about you? Embrace your natural beauty and walk forward into the future with your head up high and dignity accompanied by its old friends hope and love. See what the future holds and embrace opportunity. Everyone will find a way someday, I've chosen today.

Christmas Present!

Hey Guys!

Alright, firstly I apologize for it being almost a week since my last blog. I've been pretty sick recently. A fabulous Christmas present! Sarcasm intended.

  So as I am sure we all know, Christmas is right around the corner. Literally in one week. It's quite spectacular how quickly time flies. But I don't mind Christmas being right around the corner.

  Presents are fun, cookies are nice, hot cocoa is delicious, and Santa Clause make little kids' eyes sparkle with joy and hope. But the spirit of Christmas is also one of giving. I personally enjoy giving gifts rather than receiving gifts. It's always more rewarding to watch the receivers' eyes light up when they receive a few extra dollars, a new jacket, or a new toy. Churches provide excellent giving programs around this time year. It's quite amazing.

   What makes me a bit melancholy about this season is once it is over, it seems that that spirit of giving is over  as well. Or at least loses some of its strength. But I must remember there are different organizations that give every day.

   One of the best presents on Christmas is joy. I know that is corny, but it is true. Everyone usually is elated around this time of year. For one reason or another. It's always fun watching parents in stores Christmas shopping for their kids. Except for those crazy violent shoppers who push you out of their way. Those are the shoppers I could do without.

   I love how much family is centered and together on Christmas. My own family does everything together around and on Christmas. It gives the season a bit of magic.

   Although Christ was not technically born on Christmas, it is still amazing to think about that miracle. It reminds us that not all things are doomed, especially if love finds a way  to reside. We celebrate His birth now, which is fine, but more than that, we celebrate what He meant. Freedom, love, and hope. That's what Christmas means.

   To rejoice in our natural gifts of freedom, love, and hope. We have the freedom to hope and the hope to love and be loved. Usually, in some form or another, we are loved by some random gift, cup of hot cocoa, or even a fresh batch of cookies. So enjoy Christmas this year! Enjoy and embrace all it offers you. But my challenge to me and to you is try to maintain that spirit of joy, love, and hope all throughout the year. It is possible. I know people who do. Merry Christmas!!